House GOP uncovered that the 4 Americans who died in Benghazi were shot by an AR-15 in an elementary school, so they no longer give a shit.
I’m sure the long term unemployed take comfort in 50 Obamacare repeals, 40 abortion restrictions, and 10 Benghazi witch hunts.
And on the 3rd day Jesus rose from the dead and said “Forget the poor. That was the old me. Now just oppress gays and women.”
Best response ever.
I wore my Vans today because it’s supposed to be springtime but because this winter is never ending, I’m worried that the parking lot will be snowy when I leave here in 45 minutes, that I’ll slip—breaking all of my bones—and then I’ll have to go to the hospital instead of home, where I have an EXTREMELY HOT & SEXY NIGHT planned with TurboTax.
Get on my level.
Spring can quit fucking around any time now.
I just saw a recipe for vegan homemade Oreos and I just…
Oreos are already vegan. No, really, they are. Why would someone purposely create more work for themselves? You can already join in on this parade. You’re creating unnecessary work for yourself to create an inferior product!
LET ME OUT OF THIS OFFIIIIIIIICE!